do not take the unlicensed cabs in san jose

That's the advice all the guidebooks, and licensed taxi drivers, and everyone here will give you. Which of course I ignored.

The licensed cabs all are red with a yellow triangle on the door and a "maria," or meter, so you know what your fare is. But I found myself getting into a cab outside Raices Reggae Bar one Friday, thinking what the hell? Yeah, he doesn't have a maria, but I know the fare to my apt from here is 510 colones (about a dollar), so whatever (or, in Mexican, "equis").

Quick trip, pulls up outside my apartment (which has a little security guard in a little booth -- this will soon become important). He says 1500 colones. I express genuine shock and tell him that the trip is always 500 colones (silly me has already pulled out a 1000 colone bill and is expecting change). He insists. I tell him that's not right, but hand him the 1000 and tell him that's all he's getting. He starts cussing at me in spanish. I exit the cab and slam the door, hard.

Bad idea.

Cabbies here are super-sensitive about slamming their doors (as I was later told). The large, though overweight, cabbie jumps out of cab and comes at me in the middle of the street, kicking. Wtf? He kicks? I dodge four or five kicks, the security guard, unarmed, emerges from his booth to observe from a safe distance while telling the guy to calm down. Finally (what do we pay him for?) the guard gets between us and stops the kicking/dodging dance we're doing in the middle of the road. The taxista is pissed. Says I owe him 3000 for the damage to the cab (there is no damage). I'm a little unsettled by all this, so I tell him ok, I don't have any more money on me, but I'll go into my apt to get him money for the door.

The smart move here is to enter my gated apt and not come out. The second smartest move is to get 3000 colones (about $6) pay the guy off and get him to leave. The least smart move is to get a handful of 50 colone coins that together add up to about 300-400 colones and take them out to the taxista and tell him this is what his door is worth.

Thankfully all he did was throw them in my face and drive off screaming puta madre, etc. All I could manage was "igualmente a ti, pendejo!" The security guard was pissed, rightfully so, at me, and reminded me that many drivers, esp. of unlicensed cabs, are armed. Anyway, I'm an idiot, a lucky one, but one who learned his lesson.