Oh my God, these people scare me.

It's a religious round-up this morning. Sadly, though these read like satire, they are not.

First, the religious wackos in the US finally decided to get into the fatwa business. Actually, considering Eric Rudolph, I guess they already were, but here's another one:

Televangelist Calls for Assassination of Chavez
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) -- Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson suggested on-air that American operatives assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to stop his country from becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism."

Nice how he combined Cold War and the "Global War on Terror" into one. Venezuela is everything you fear all together!

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said Monday on the Christian Broadcast Network's "The 700 Club."

"We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

Apparently Robertson didn't get the CIA memo that it's not cool to talk publicly about killing the democratically-elected leaders of other countries. And, speaking of the CIA, I think it's odd that the AP cites the Agency as a source for export statistics (see below). Wouldn't you think you'd get that info from the US Trade Office or an economist?

Venezuela is the fifth largest oil exporter and a major supplier of oil to the United States. The CIA estimates that U.S. markets absorb almost 59 percent of Venezuela's total exports.

Sometimes I think the only reason God allows Pat Robertson to continue to exist on this planet is to provide fodder for Barry Lynn's direct mail fundraising letters.




























Next is:

Grooming Politicians for Christ
Evangelical programs on Capitol Hill seek to mold a new generation of leaders who will answer not to voters, but to God.

WASHINGTON — In the blue and gold elegance of the House speaker's private dining room, Jeremy Bouma bowed his head before eight young men and women who hope to one day lead the nation. He prayed that they might find wisdom in the Bible — and govern by its word.

"Holy Father, we thank you for providing us with guidance," said Bouma, who works for an influential televangelist. "Thank you, Lord, for these students. Build them up as your warriors and your ambassadors on Capitol Hill."

"Amen," the students murmured. Then they picked up their pens expectantly.

Nearly every Monday for six months, as many as a dozen congressional aides — many of them aspiring politicians — have gathered over takeout dinners to mine the Bible for ancient wisdom on modern policy debates about tax rates, foreign aid, education, cloning and the Central American Free Trade Agreement.

Through seminars taught by conservative college professors and devout members of Congress, the students learn that serving country means first and always serving Christ.

They learn to view every vote as a religious duty, and to consider compromise a sin.

[...]

Such programs share a commitment to developing leaders who read the Bible as a blueprint.

As Kennedy put it: "If we leave it to man to decide what's good and evil, there will be chaos."

[...]

Growing up in rural West Virginia, Echard believed passionately in her church's teachings against abortion, but thought little about such issues as economic policy or foreign trade.

The institute gave her a framework for evaluating those topics.

Now the director of the Eagle Forum, a conservative lobbying group founded by Phyllis Schlafly, Echard says Jesus would approve of a call for lower taxes: "God calls on us to be stewards of our [own] money."

She dips into the Bible to explain her opposition to most global treaties, reasoning that Americans have a holy obligation to protect their God-given freedom by avoiding foreign entanglements.

George Roller, left, of the Center for Christian Statesmanship, and Jeremy Bouma, of the Statesmanship Institute, help offer seminars for members of Congress and staff, teaching them to mine the Bible for ancient wisdom on modern policy.
(Andrew Councill / For The Times)

So the Bible instructs them to speak out on tax policy, stem cells, and CAFTA, but how about an issue I know Jesus would have cared about (seeing as how things went down, you know?).

Where's the Christian outrage over Lena Baker? Or the countless others like her who sit on death rows in Texas, Florida, Virginia, etc? Will they eventually get their pardons, like she did, decades too late?

Maid pardoned 60 years after execution

ALBANY, Georgia (AP) -- The only woman ever executed in Georgia's electric chair is being granted a posthumous pardon, 60 years after the black maid was put to death for killing a white man she claimed held her in slavery and threatened her life.

As the Washington Post editorialized:

It is tempting to believe that these tragedies don't happen anymore, that the death penalty now is more protective of innocent life. Indeed, trial standards are undoubtedly higher; southern states are no longer organized governmental conspiracies against the rights of African Americans; and capital appeals today ensure layers of review totally absent then.

Yet injustice is a resilient pestilence that -- like drug-resistant bacteria -- has myriad ways of defeating the best human attempts to eliminate it. And Americans who believe the death penalty is foolproof are simply kidding themselves. DNA testing has caused many people to be freed from death row, illustrating the fallibility of even modern trials. And recently prosecutors in St. Louis reopened the case of a man executed by the state of Missouri back in 1995 -- no longer being convinced that the state had killed the right person. As long as the death penalty persists, cases like Ms. Baker's -- where recompense is impossible -- are inevitable.